Greetings Beautiful Spirits,
I had to “spill thoughts” based upon messages I’ve received today; basic theme being: Why do I continue doing what makes other people happy and leaving myself empty?
I’ve experienced most of what each of these people are currently going through. “If I do more for “them”,” they” will finally love me.” “My happiness will come once this person/ that person is happy.” I may not love him/her now but the “right” one may never come along; I’m tired of being alone.” “My happiness comes from making sure everyone else is happy.” All lies we tell ourselves to avoid dealing with the only one with the power to ensure our happiness…ourselves.
I can state from experience that facing yourself is not an easy thing. It takes courage, willingness to identify and accept your role in how your life has been, understanding it’s never too late to create change and the wisdom to release what no longer serves your spirit and deprives you of happiness. Sometimes this requires drastic change such as ridding your life of negative influences (including loved ones), toxic behaviors (alcohol, drugs, sex etc.) and making a commitment to do whatever it takes to heal yourself even it means…hitting rock bottom.
Sure I’ve lost everything…I do mean everything but amidst chaos, I’m finding myself; the most important person in my life, the person I often left behind. I understand putting me first is not selfish but absolutely necessary to ensure my peace and happiness. Even with all I’ve been through, I will never accept that life is meant to be hard and happiness is merely an idealistic person’s dream. The Universe has created us as loving, happy beings; our decisions either intensify our ability to love and be happy or create discord. Until we accept responsibility for ourselves peace and happiness will be elusive.
As I recover, I notice my legs are no longer wobbly, my head is lifted higher than ever before and pain that made its home in my body has all but disappeared. I don’t have all of the answers and I will never be perfect but it’s not my job to be either; I’ve surrendered to the Universe and now I flow in the wind with infinite access to clarity, peace and happiness. Every moment will not be perfect and there will surely be moments of “darkness” ahead but I know they will pass same as the others and I will keep building and moving forward.
I’ve always felt more than most people and therefore labeled “too sensitive and weird”. It’s difficult living in a world feeling what other’s feel and often being misunderstood so throughout my life I’ve tried to “fit” in to alleviate some of the loneliness. Unfortunately trying to fit in always left me feeling worse than the loneliness so I don’t bother anymore. I can’t get rid of how I was created… I feel deeply and I’ve accepted this; I’m a free spirit and I’ve accepted it; I don’t enjoying focusing on one thing at a time and I’ve accepted this; I abhor lists, plans and rules but I’m organized, focused when I need to be and live righteously…I’ve accepted this; I will never be who anyone wants me to be or live up to the “potential” “they” expect me to and I’ve accepted this. I’m simply me and I cannot nor will I try to be anyone else again.
Are you ready to take the first step to learn who you are and what you need to be peaceful and happy? Are you ready to be honest with yourself? Are you ready to put yourself first? Your happiness cannot be found in anyone or anything outside of yourself; do the work and I promise you will not regret it!
As always I’m here because no one should have to journey alone…
Love, Peace & Blessings…