Posted in Spilled Thoughts

My Soul Exposed…

I’m often asked why I’m against falling in love…I’m not; just unwilling to do so at this point in my life. I’m not bitter or afraid but I’m a realist who understands that being in love may never be as I’ve always dreamed it would be. I’m a perfectionist not just with my career but all aspects of my life; a blessing and a curse. It is difficult for me to accept that being in love has too many variables and it can never be made “perfect” which means success is not guaranteed. Please don’t mistake being a perfectionist for someone who is inflexible but understand that perfectionists require consistency, definitive answers and cerebral thinking…these are not characteristics of being in love.

When I was in love, I became completely immersed; not to the point of losing myself but I gave almost all of me because I can’t do anything “half-ass”. My expectation of being in love was that each person involved would share themselves equally…unrealistic belief but at the time it was part of MY reality. The next time I fell in love, I held back just in case he did not share himself completely…not being true to myself was much to tedious for me!

After all these years, I am comfortable being authentically me…empathetic, emotional, independent, altruistic, introverted, cerebral, creative, loyal and nurturing. The world will either accept me as I am or look the other way but I will not change who I am. Most people are not comfortable being true to who they are and often change to fit the ideals of who others want them to be. I was once a “changer” and it took me almost a lifetime to finally love and wholly accept ME as I am. Anyone who loves you or falls in love with you will appreciate the authentic you, but only if you have accepted yourself!

If I have to narrow down qualities in a man that will attract me they would be:

Warm spirit

Kind eyes

Strong yet tender arms and hands

Ability to stimulate my mind…constantly

Ability to listen…I mean really listen

Ability to encourage intuitively

Ambitious

Loyal

Protective

Creative

I’ll be ready to open my soul to a worthy man sooner than most think, but since I’m still getting to know ME…being in love is not a priority.

Please share your thoughts as I’d love to know how YOU are in love or what leads you to love.

Smooches…

~SNS~

Author:

Free spirit; fiercely loyal and undeniably passionate...

6 thoughts on “My Soul Exposed…

  1. This is a very insightful post. The phrase “authentically me” is perfect. I have been on what sounds like a similar journey, and may have finally found the guy I can be my best self with… Still feeling that out, but enjoying just being beautiful me.

    I will say this about love… There are no guarantees, so if I am going to go there and risk being hurt or left or broken then I am NOT going to settle and I’m going to love ALL the way & with ALL of me.

    Anything less than that appears in front of me, I’ll pass.

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    1. What a pleasure to read your comment. It takes time to figure out exactly who you are especially after going through life but once you do…the clarity is amazing. Everything seems to be in focus now for me and my confidence level has jumped so many notches since accepting myself wholly. I may be ready to experience love again soon but when I do, I will take the same steps as you…remembering to love ME and taking things with him one day at a time. Stay in touch, you offer great insight. 🙂 Take care.

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  2. I agree that being authentically you is the most important thing you can do. I believe it is the reason we are all here experiencing this thing called life.

    However, I think when real love (in the “romantic” sense) looks you in the face, you won’t be as “unwilling” as you think. Real love is a soul to soul recognition and acceptance and I know the beautiful soul that you exude won’t turn that away-even at this point in your life. 😉

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    1. At this very moment…I absolutely agree! I appreciate your comment. Lately I’ve been feeling like I am ready, well almost ready to open my soul but I am still afraid. Your words are comforting and insightful. Thank you again. 🙂

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