I’m often asked why I’m against falling in love…I’m not; just unwilling to do so at this point in my life. I’m not bitter or afraid but I’m a realist who understands that being in love may never be as I’ve always dreamed it would be. I’m a perfectionist not just with my career but all aspects of my life; a blessing and a curse. It is difficult for me to accept that being in love has too many variables and it can never be made “perfect” which means success is not guaranteed. Please don’t mistake being a perfectionist for someone who is inflexible but understand that perfectionists require consistency, definitive answers and cerebral thinking…these are not characteristics of being in love.
When I was in love, I became completely immersed; not to the point of losing myself but I gave almost all of me because I can’t do anything “half-ass”. My expectation of being in love was that each person involved would share themselves equally…unrealistic belief but at the time it was part of MY reality. The next time I fell in love, I held back just in case he did not share himself completely…not being true to myself was much to tedious for me!
After all these years, I am comfortable being authentically me…empathetic, emotional, independent, altruistic, introverted, cerebral, creative, loyal and nurturing. The world will either accept me as I am or look the other way but I will not change who I am. Most people are not comfortable being true to who they are and often change to fit the ideals of who others want them to be. I was once a “changer” and it took me almost a lifetime to finally love and wholly accept ME as I am. Anyone who loves you or falls in love with you will appreciate the authentic you, but only if you have accepted yourself!
If I have to narrow down qualities in a man that will attract me they would be:
Strong yet tender arms and hands
Ability to stimulate my mind…constantly
Ability to listen…I mean really listen
Ability to encourage intuitively
I’ll be ready to open my soul to a worthy man sooner than most think, but since I’m still getting to know ME…being in love is not a priority.
Please share your thoughts as I’d love to know how YOU are in love or what leads you to love.