Recently I was able to achieve closure with someone who has always had a strong hold on me. With her I’ve always felt as though I was cheated out of the love I know I am worthy of; support and encouragement I’ve always longed for. I’ve always wondered how I could be who I am yet she is who she is; my polar opposite.
When I think of how much time I wasted seeking validation from this person and believing I was never enough, I am disappointed with myself. When I think of always (before now) being afraid to be my authentic self because it meant being extremely different from her, I am disappointed with myself. When I think of how her low self-esteem and almost non-existent self-worth adversely affected me and made me feel the same about myself, I am disappointed with myself.
As disappointed as I am with myself, I realize that I was not equipped to identify what I’ve just shared before now so how can I blame myself? I should have never considered anyone else’s thoughts or actions as part of my own. I’ve always been independent and a leader therefore no one should have been allowed to make me feel less than worthy; less than whole. I am responsible for my life same as you and how dare we allow anyone else to dictate how we should feel or what we should do.
I don’t blame this person and now I am able to accept her for who she is; not good, bad or indifferent but someone who loves me as best as she can. Sometimes you have to just KNOW and accept what is and leave the rest alone. I now understand that people can only love us as best as they can; not as we love them or expect them to love us but as they are able to love us.
A wise woman recently said to me, “You have power; never let anyone take that away from you. You are a fool to let that happen!” Her profound wisdom has enabled me to find my way again and as she advised, I will never give my personal power away ever again; not ever. If you feel like you are not empowered, I implore you to take steps to reclaim your power and to never give it away again. You are not alone; I will walk beside you offering encouragement, love, acceptance and non-judgment.
I am authentically…SereneNSassySoul.
Love, Peace & Blessings…