Love Lesson I

Dedicated to the one who will know this is my Thank You to Him…

I finally have the courage to share this; finally have the ability to understand this…

I’m single/unattached by choice because He taught me what unconditional love and support feels like; I know what “trying” looks and feels like. I understand that relationships are NOT about sacrificing yourself or asking someone else to. Relationships are NOT about changing yourself so the other person will “like” or perhaps accept you. Relationships ARE comprised of people who love and accept one another just as they are; light and dark side.

He came into my life during a time of chaos and much needed self-healing and therefore I was unable to allow his love to penetrate me completely. He showed me what love looks and feels like. He taught me that I am always enough! He discovered the beauty within and outside of me and taught me how to love it all. Best of all, He didn’t just love me, He loved, protected, encouraged and inspired my first true love…my Son. It all came from his heart and I gave him as much in return as I could considering the shattered state I was in as he attempted to rescue me. He was consistent and persistent; did everything He could to help me release the pain…

He was a selfless friend and lover, counselor, teacher, protector; truly the Sun to my Moon. He made my heart smile until the smile reached my eyes. He was patient and willingly shared his strength with me. He led me back to myself and helped me mend many pieces of my soul back together again. He was beautiful inside out; looking at him, dreaming of him, provided so much pleasure for me…

He helped me realize that the love I’ve dreamt of and written about since I was a young girl actually exists despite what most people think. He’s why I know better than to settle for anything less because I deserve to be fulfilled in every way imaginable.

I often think if only He came into my life at a time I wasn’t grieving and in desperate need of healing, we would have had more time to grow together instead of eventually growing apart. If only I could have opened my heart more for Him; truly enjoyed his presence and what He was offering me, and my Son. I think of Him often and smile, hoping He is truly happy and fulfilled even with someone else because that’s what real love is. Sometimes I get a brief whiff of His personal scent, I see Him standing tall and strong, smiling and it comforts me. My heart tells me He is just fine and I include Him in my prayers, grateful to have had an opportunity to experience Him.

Now I’m living, smiling and standing on my own feeling more powerful and confident than I’ve ever felt before and I know he has played a part in my healing, recovery and new found happiness. Sure it would be wonderful to share this version of me, my authentic self with Him now but I accept that perhaps our time is gone for good. I’m brave and wise now and also open to receiving my Soul Mate when the time is right, whether it be Him or someone else. I have no expectations of who my Soul Mate is or will be but I am certain of what he will NOT be. I’m whole on my own but with him I will be complete. He will make me a better me; I will make him a better him.

SereneNSassy Soul

October 15, 2015


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