Writing was becoming tedious and downright undesirable, albeit my first love, our relationship was floundering with no reconciliation in sight. Writing was always therapeutic for me and allowed me to communicate much more efficiently than I’ve ever been able to do verbally. People who could not really relate to me when we spoke, could somehow understand the meaning behind my jumbled verbal communication after reading my words.
Truthfully, I write what my heart and spirit feel at the time which is why long ago I decided against becoming a journalist; the words are not always available and topics cannot be chosen for me.
Somewhere along the way I was convinced that writing should be a “business” for me because I have a way with words (whatever that means). I was desperate to leave the corporate world so I began writing what people claimed to be hot topics. I even learned how to use hash tags (well sort of, oh well) but it was difficult to create content and after a while I pretty much stopped writing all together. Uninspired, suffering from a creative drought, not being true to myself and still not gaining the readership “they” claimed I would if only I would change my content and stop using “fancy words” (what the hell are fancy words?), my relationship with writing seemed to be ending…
Although I’d invested most of my life to the one thing I could always count on, I was ready to give up; why bother no one reads anyway? As always, the Universe had other plans and recently, I’ve been receiving the same message to my question, “What is my purpose and how can I fulfill this purpose?” Write, share yourself, inspire, encourage, support…Do not focus on likes/dislikes, promotional gimmicks or the number of “followers” you gain/lose, just write! The ones who can learn from your words will find them. Just write, write from your heart; use the gift you were given and you will fulfill your purpose. Over and over again the Universe delivered this message to me but until now I could not connect all of the dots.
It was difficult to stay motivated without support, inspiration, feedback (good, bad, indifferent; it’s all important). Now I understand, what matters most is for ME to support my work, never stop searching for inspiration and keep myself motivated. Well writing and I have rekindled our love affair and the blockage in my heart has been scraped away…
It’s never been about anyone else, writing has always been for me; it’s my thing, my very first and truest love. When I write all is right with the world; when I’m done whatever troubles I may have had are released at the end. Writing is my comfort, my therapy, my soul food, my expression, my friend… Giving up our relationship is PREPOSTEROUS but it just seemed easier than trying to figure out what the hell was going on and cheaper than visiting a therapist (LoL).
I share this to say, be true to yourself; don’t deny yourself anything that feels right because it may not fit into what the rest of the world is doing. Denying any part of yourself, ignoring messages of your spirit, your heart will kill you slowly. We are not meant to live lesser lives; we have been created to flourish, use our gifts to create positive ripples in this world and most of all to fulfill our purpose.
As always, Love, Peace & Blessings…