Often, we hope and wish for our lives to change without doing what’s required to create and allow change. We seldom realize that we are preventing the change we need and want from actually happening; there is work to be done.
We push aside disappointment, anger and deeply buried pain to survive, without healing from whatever almost broke us. We use trauma as a means of protecting ourselves from being hurt again; at least not in the same way. Moving on without healing creates a recurring cycle of reliving the pain through many different forms (ex. attracting emotional unavailable partners, unfulfilling jobs, beginning self-sabotaging habits etc.).
A few years ago, I experienced an intense cycle of pain that caused a deep ache in my chest and stopped me in my tracks for a while. Shortly after this experience, a friend looked into my eyes and asked, “Have you ever forgiven those who have hurt you?” I answered truthfully, “No!” I always imagined forgiveness meant excusing the offender’s behavior and I was not willing to do so. My friend responded, “It’s time for you to MAKE SPACE! It’s time for you to forgive them so you can move on once and for all. You are blocking blessings and people who love you because you’re holding on to so much pain, trying to protect yourself. Clear it out, MAKE SPACE so you can truly be happy; do it NOW!”
Hey, even the Coach needs a Coach! 😊Listening to her, it all came together and I finally understood. Forgiveness is NOT about letting those who have caused you pain off the hook, it’s about freeing yourself, healing yourself and RECLAIMING power you once gave away; SOUL EMPOWERMENT.
As my wise friend suggested, I made a list of people and experiences related to any trauma I’ve experienced. Unlike most things, this was easy for me to try because she is proof that it works! I sat with my list for a few days to make sure every trauma was accounted for because I wanted to be done with it once and for all. When I was truly ready to MAKE SPACE, I burned the list, flushed the ashes down the toilet and within a few minutes, I felt lighter than I’ve ever felt during this lifetime.
Take Away ~ If you keep returning to the same place, experience or feeling, there is work to be done!
Do YOU have work to do? Is it time for YOU to MAKE SPACE?
Sending you Love, Courage and Acceptance…
P.S. During my time of MAKING SPACE, I discovered the person with the longest list of items to forgive, was me.
Definition of Forgiveness: to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.