This is my first freelance post for http://fuzd.com/. I’d love for you to check this out and share your thoughts. 🙂
Have you ever felt like without him/her your life has no meaning? Does her/his opinion of you mean more than how you see yourself? Do you often sacrifice your wants/needs for the sake of pleasing him/her? If you’ve answered yes to any of these statements, it’s time to re-elevate your self-esteem. If you don’t love yourself, do not expect anyone else to love you; cliché perhaps but true nonetheless.
A dating prospect will be attracted to someone who exudes self-confidence; if you believe you look great, they will think you look great. When you walk into a room with your head held high, people notice and they want to know who you are. Think of dating same as the Law of Attraction…what you put out, you will get back.
Here are a few tips to build and sustain your confidence as well as help you attract a worthy partner.
Never be anything less than authentically you; no one can do it better. Love and accept yourself just as you are and he/she will do the same.
Discover what makes you happy and build on it. When you are happy it shows and your “light” will attract potential partners who will add to not subtract from your happiness.
Never compare yourself to anyone; not ever! You are wonderful and beautiful and have so much to offer…own it!
If you are not already one, become a good listener; it’s better to be interested instead of interesting. Pay attention to what your potential partner is saying so you can digest and dissect to learn more about her/him. What you learn will determine if you want to see him/her again or decide there is no connection and you should move on to the next prospect.
Always take pride in your appearance including hygiene! When you leave your home no matter where you are set to go, be sure to look your best. Your best does not translate into designer brands simply be neat and clean (hair, nails, feet shoes/sneakers etc.).
Pay close attention to your intuition; it will never steer you wrong. If there is “something about” her/him, or you get a weird feeling this is your intuition warning you that this person is not the one; don’t waste time with someone who does not resonate with your spirit.
We all have items that are “must haves” in a partner as well as “deal breakers”. Just be sure each item on your list has real value and that you are not expecting more from your potential partner than what you have to offer. For example expecting him/her to be wealthy yet you are irresponsible with your finances and drowning in debt; you expect to attract what you believe is a 10 yet you are a 5 (inside and out). Be fair with your assessment and remember first impressions do not provide a full view of who she/he is.
You have plenty of time to settle down. Enjoy yourself and get to know what you really want in a mate, be patient and most of all NEVER SETTLE!
Love, Peace & Blessings…
Syd’s top ten ways to satisfy your partner sexually, emotionally and intellectually.
#10 Read a f&*^ing book sometimes expand your mind. Intellectual stimulation is just as important as physical stimulation if not more; besides being dumb isn’t sexy.
#9 Don’t be selfish. You can’t satisfy anyone if you only think about yourself. Eventually you’ll end up having selfish sex with yourself. That sh&t can’t be fun.
#8 Don’t be an emotional pain in the ass. Some people are emotional, we understand shit happens. But all the time?! You can’t let your emotions run your life and maybe even ruin your relationship.
#7 Space…It ain’t just for moons and stars and astronauts. Everybody needs time for their self.
#6 Laughter and fun. This should be self-explanatory. If you can’t laugh and have fun with the one you’re with then DAMN!
#5 Know your partner. I mean some people are go hard freaks some are real conservative and some fall in the middle. If you don’t your partner how can you satisfy them?
#4 Don’t play it out. Believe it or not sex can get played out doing it every night sh^t start hurting you get skin burns. It can go from being fun to being a job. Sometimes less is more.
#3 This could be part of #4 Keep it interesting new and fresh. Try some new sh^t. Watch a movie get some toys, oils, dress up, roll play whatever. You gotta mix it up. It’s not about having the same meal every night. It’s about having the same meal prepared the same way every night that gets to you. You have to be open-minded and willing to try new things. Step out of your comfort zone. Hell you never know what may turn you on.
#2 Believe it or not sex isn’t everything. You can’t build a relationship solely on sex. It’s hard having good sex in a bad relationship. It’s even harder having sex with someone you hate. Working on your relationship outside the bedroom will help immensely in the bed room.
#1 Communication is key; not just talking but listening and understanding. Without it you have no relationship at all.
You must be able to share your dreams opinions your fantasies and fetishes with each other without fear of judgment or prejudice. Being able to do so will allow y’all to grow not only sexually but emotionally.
Please share your thoughts and as always, Love, Peace & Blessings…
Good Afternoon and welcome to this week’s HER and HIS Perspective.
You’ve got questions…we’ve got answers! Join Her and His perspective each Wednesday where you will gain insight from both sides. Please submit your thoughts/questions to firstname.lastname@example.org by Friday and answers will be posted the following Wednesday (please note posting will depend on submission volume). We will not publish your name; just initials.
This week’s giveaway: A $25 Amazon Gift Card will be awarded to this week’s most helpful advice/comment. Winner will be announced Monday, May 6, 2013.
J.S. (male) Marietta,GA
1) Can a long distance relationship last the test of time? 2) Do we really let baggage from an old relationship go in a new relationship?
1) I believe a long distance relationship can be fruitful as long as both parties are open and honest about their expectations. If partners are mature and at the same stage in life, a long distance relationship can satisfy the needs of each and serve as a great way to deepen their bond while maintaining personal space and independence (each grows on their own as well as within the relationship). Partners must also agree on a set timetable to eventually end up in the same place thereby removing the distance. I do not believe a long distance relationship can survive indefinitely; at some point one or both partners will desire to spend more time with their loved one and the distance will become an issue.
2) It’s nearly impossible to avoid bringing baggage from past relationships into new ones…unless you take time to assess what went wrong and make a conscious effort to make changes. You must take an honest look at yourself to learn why the relationship was not successful, determine your role in the unsuccessful relationship and figure out what steps you can take to avoid another unsuccessful relationship. If you do not take time to complete an honest assessment, you will bring baggage into each new relationship eventually causing havoc and ending in failure. Baggage is simply events you have not examined to understand what you can learn from them and what you must purge to move on. The scariest thing to do is face yourself but you cannot move on peacefully unless you identify, take responsibility for and change what you must in order to enjoy a healthy relationship internally and with others.
1) I believe two human beings can make unimaginable matters come to life. If there’s unconditional, genuine love between two people, mountains, oceans, and road ways are no match. One should be honest with themselves and their partner initially going into the relationship; if you cannot behave with him or her in-town, how are you going to act when they’re miles away? Please, assay the situation, keep an open line of communication due to the fact that long distance relationships thrive and depend on it. At the end of the day if their worth it, what else needs to be said.
2) I know that if you’re not mentally, spiritually, and emotionally intact you will display/present that “baggage” you’re referring to. As human beings we become complacent in relationships and never address the underline issues, if you never addressed them in the previous relationship, how can you then expect to be happy or connect with your partner in the new one? The culpability is on you alone.
J.B. (female) Raleigh, NC
Is it possible to have a monogamous relationship?
Monogamy is possible but each partner must be honest and realistic about their needs and expectations. I believe if you are satisfying your partner emotionally, sexually and intellectually, he/she will not have a reason to stray. I must however point out that sex is different for men/women in most cases. A man can have meaningless sex; they are visual beings and how someone looks and moves are features they will want to explore. A woman views sex as a form of intimacy and normally won’t engage unless she is physically and emotionally attracted to someone. You must understand the person you are choosing as a partner: i.e. if you met and began a relationship with her/him while they were already in a relationship chances are history will repeat itself.
I don’t see anything convoluted about monogamy. I think there comes a time for a man or woman to be real with themselves and say I’m a bachelorette or a bachelor, let’s not charm people with virtues but rather, state what you want life to denote to you. Affirm who you are as an individual and others will respect that or they’ll keep their distance, either way you were honest with yourself and no one is scared in the process.
S.R. (male) New York, NY
Why do women complain that there are no good men yet when one shows interest they claim he’s “too nice”? What the hell is too nice anyway?
Here is my definition of “too nice”: he allows everyone in his life to overrule what he thinks, he doesn’t stand up for himself and he doesn’t seem to value his worth. If a man isn’t self-confident, why would anyone be attracted to him; same applies for a woman. As a partner you will encourage, inspire and hold up your mate but you don’t want to be with someone who thinks negatively, feels defeated and/or leans on you all the time. A woman wants to know that her man will stand strong with her against the world if necessary; normally the guy labeled “too nice” waivers and can be influenced. Also in some cases “too nice” can mean she does not feel physically safe with him; a man doesn’t have to be a “thug” to make a woman feel safe but he should not appear timid and/or weak. Relationships have come a long way but one consistency is that men should be the stronger sex.
I wouldn’t feed into those conversations if you’re not a guy who cheats, lies, sleeps around and doesn’t believe in marriage. Sometimes women go “fishing” with this statement, it can be a test, others could merely be candid critics. As far as being too nice I’m not sure about that. If you’re a nice guy, so be it, do not allow the opposite sex’s general view of men de tract your inner being my friend.
Love, Peace & Blessings… ~SereneNSassySoul
Thanks for giving us the chance to answer your personal questions. ~Mr. Turn It Up
You’ve got questions…we’ve got answers! Join SereneNSassySoul and Mr. Turn It Up as we provide guidance for thoughts stirring in your mind. HER and HIS Perspective will post each Wednesday providing you with unbiased insight from both sides.
Please submit your thoughts/questions to email@example.com by Friday and answers will be posted the following Wednesday (please note posting will depend on submission volume). We will not publish your name; just initials.
This week’s giveaway: A $25 Amazon Gift Card will be awarded to this week’s most helpful advice/comment. Winner will be announced Friday, May 3, 2013.
We are looking forward to connecting with you. Love, Peace & Smooches…