Posted in Inspirational Flow

Only YOU Can Save Yourself

Dearest Beautiful Spirits,

After spending yesterday in bed, searching for a reason to keep trying, I’ve awakened today with reasonS to keep trying.

Here’s the thing, I had to acknowledge that there is something within me that is destructive. It fights all of the good in me, as if it’s trying to prevent its inevitable death once I get the hang of thriving as my authentic self. This destructive (for lack of a better term) part of me is a strong son-of-a-b&tch, fortunately the rest of me is even more powerful.

You see it’s so much easier to blame something outside of yourself when your life doesn’t seem to go as want it to. At this time in my life, there is no one or nothing to blame, yet I still feel as though I am not where I should be.

I’ve even tried to blame it on being an introvert, unfortunately everywhere I look there is a successful introvert thriving because of who they are. I honestly believe as an idealist, dreamer, INFP I often get stuck in the creation phase of things and lose interest shortly thereafter because…monotony of day-to-day business is not appealing to me. Funny thing is, I am definitely at the point in my life where working for someone else, helping to build their dreams is simply NOT AN OPTION! I’ve managed other people’s businesses, it’s past time for me to put my big girl panties on and manage my own business. HUuuuuuuumph! *chuckles*

Bottom line is, I’ve been afraid of following through with my dreams/ideas because lack of support has subliminally taught me I am unworthy of fulfilling my dreams/ideas. Growing up, no one ever saw the splendor in my dreams/ideas and I wasn’t encouraged to pursue them. If the ones who love you don’t seem to believe in you, how can you expect anyone else will?

As the years went by, the twinkle in my eyes along with my fearlessness slowly evaporated and I began waiting for someone to save me (i.e. from the bully in school, the adults who thought it was okay to violate my trust, an abusive spouse…) yet no one ever came to save me.

 

YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU MAY KNOW AT THIS MOMENT; DON’T EVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF. ITS TIME TO BE YOUR OWN HERO…

be-your-own-hero

Being saved was a deep longing I needed fulfilled but much to my chagrin, it never happened until the Universe told me clearly and with certainty, “You and only you have the power to save yourself. It’s time for you to do so with all that you are; all that I’ve created you to be. You are never alone, I am always here unconditionally loving, protecting and guiding you.”

After such a spiritual awakening, there is no way I could continue waiting for anyone to save me so I made a conscious effort to begin saving myself. I am not perfect nor always happy but my personal power is something that I rely on to keep moving forward instead of allowing myself to give up.

Let me just tell you, my entire being…mind, body, spirit, soul and heart gang up on me if I try to give up; seriously sore throat, chest pains, back pains, headaches, spiritual disconnection etc. The part of me that is not destructive has become so much stronger than the part trying it’s best to shut me down therefore, my only choice is to keep moving forward.

Wishing You Love, Peace & Courage during your personal journey…

SereneNSassySoul

Posted in Spilled Thoughts

Save Your Loved Ones…OPTIONS

This weekend, someone I care about became so overwhelmed dealing with her pain on her own that she decided her only OPTION was to leave this world. She was a Beautiful Spirit; her energy comforting and inspiring. She apparently was an expert hiding her pain because everyone that knew her said she was “happy” and “full of life”. According to everyone there was no indication that she was experiencing internal chaos to the point of no return.

I had not seen her in a few weeks and the last time I saw her she did seem content. At the time of our last connection, I was experiencing my own internal chaos so perhaps I was not as tuned in as I normally am. My grief now with her passing is that I wish someone, if not me could have shown her another OPTION to managing her pain.

I’m always asking everyone to pay attention to loved ones; listen to them and never dismiss their feelings. How you may deal with an issue is not how someone else may be able to; respect their feelings even if you don’t understand them and NEVER, I mean NEVER tell someone to “just get over it and move on”.

In light of this situation, I am wondering how in-tuned with someone you can be if you are experiencing your own issues at the same time. I can remember thinking of this young women and feeling her internal conflict between the choices she had made; some she was not proud of but doing everything she could to make better choices and move forward. She worried constantly (mostly because of religious teachings) that she may never “be right” with God because of past indiscretions. It was difficult because of the people around her and their teachings, to believe God loved her no matter what, God knew her heart was kind and God understood she was trying to make a better life for herself.

options1I think now of the person who told me that contrary to what I believe, everyone does not need support and encouragement to thrive in this world. I respect her perspective but I firmly believe that everyone thrives with support and encouragement; now even more now than ever. I believe we all need someone to listen, I mean really listen; sometimes advise or offer counsel. We were not created to navigate this world alone. We need to know that we are not the only ones experiencing what conflict there may be. While no one else can validate our feelings, it helps to know that you are not alone and it helps to know there are OPTIONS…even when you feel hopeless, there are OPTIONS. Having support, being encouraged helps you access a place within you to create the OPTIONS that will help you get through any internal chaos you may experience.

Again, I wish someone including myself could have helped my young friend access her OPTIONS to escape the pain she was feeling. The feeling in my heart center is not just about her leaving this world, it’s also about the way she decided to leave…the cold and lonely journey she took to leave. I wish she wasn’t alone, I wish she wasn’t dragged down by darkness, I wish she knew how loved she was…is. Perhaps I should have told her how inspiring she was; how her smile and infectious laugh made the dimmest of days bright. Perhaps I should have reminded her of how encouraging her counsel was because you could always feel it coming from her heart; no judgement present.

helping-hand-emotionalNow more than ever I just feel that even when someone pushes us away, we can’t just let them be! I remember being so depressed years ago and not speaking to anyone except during work hours, my Mom would just keep leaving me messages, “I love you and I am here whenever you are ready to let me be.” At the time my internal chaos was so strong there was nothing anyone could say or do to help me, but those messages gave me an OPTION…to keep waking up each day until I could figure how to help myself. You never know how listening or perhaps lending words of kindness can truly be enough to help give someone light through their darkness.

Let’s make a pact to not be consumed by the fear, tragedy and sadness surrounding us in the world today. Let’s work together to create OPTIONS! Lend someone your words of kindness; inspire someone with your actions. Help someone find the strength they need to keep moving forward even when they feel hopeless. No act of kindness is too small.

A couple years ago, a woman in front of me at the Dunkin Donuts drive thru paid for my order without requiring recognition or thank you from me… During that time, I was struggling financially and I knew it was a blessing; it was my light during the darkness I was experiencing. So without much consideration, I used the money I set aside for my breakfast for the person behind me as a way to pay forward the kindness shown to me.

Do what you can and KNOW that it’s enough. Don’t let someone suffer alone; put your hand out and give them a boost up…help them access their OPTIONS. OPTIONS apply to Men and Women. Do NOT assume because physically Men are stronger (in most cases) that they don’t need someone to help them access their OPTIONS!

I’m sending you all the Love and Light I can without depleting my own at this time.

May your outlook be bright and may you always remember you have OPTIONS.

Love, Peace & Blessings…

Posted in Spilled Thoughts

Inhale…Exhale…

Pain felt so deeply it make your heart stop briefly, your head pound angrily

Love felt so deeply warming your entire being, briefly taking your breath away

Disappointment you feel when someone you love experiences turmoil and there’s nothing you can do to make it stop; one of the worse things you can ever experience…helplessness

People around have no idea what you are processing inside, most don’t care; it’s not as if they can resolve your worries anyway…

Tears refuse to fall; spirit refuses to accept defeat

Something inside of you is fighting the darkness trying to take over; your will is stronger than anything that comes up against it

You can feel this happening inside of you; there are no words to describe it

The internal war is making you stronger and things that angered or saddened you melt away…

After a while your guides help you understand and know what your spirit, heart knows…you are just fine

You smile at this feeling a sense of inner peace spreading within you calming your entire being

In this moment you realize the one you love will be just fine in time; at their own pace and in their own time

Rain begins to fall, you release the chaos allowing yourself to breathe freely once again; rain is always soothing and cleansing

After a while the Sun joins you in the first new moments of the rest of your life…

You can’t look back even if you wanted to; forward progress is the only way

Inhale, Exhale…Inhale, Exhale…Inhale, Exhale…

©2016 SereneNSassySoul

 

©2016 SereneNSassySoul

Posted in Spilled Thoughts

Fear Consumes Her…

Unable to acknowledge or admit, she suffers from fear deep within her spirit; it’s how she learned to managed her life thanks to early experiences
Unintentionally she passes her fearfulness on to others and cannot accept when they reject her fear/step outside of her fear.
Like so many other things this creates more fear within her.
She judges harshly beginning with herself then trickling to others; perhaps unconsciously but does that excuse the pain she may cause for others?
It’s frightening to be near people who don’t share her beliefs because they may go farther than she has allowed herself to go…
Believing that allowing herself to be led will ease her pain or make life easier; as if she is not somehow held accountable for her life or lack thereof
Closing her mind is “safer” than allowing it to flow openly with infinite possibilities…
Keeping herself to only herself is “safer” than sharing herself because why risk being vulnerable and possibly being hurt again? Isn’t keeping yourself alone, hurtful? 
Never taking risks, playing it safe…how far can she get?
Not living a life that has been given to her, is this not disrespectful to the One responsible for creating her? Kinda makes you wonder…
Giving up because it seems like a waste of time to continue trying, cowardly or does she really believe she is “protecting” herself?
Will she make a decision to be courageous, opening her heart and mind so she can truly live or will she continue dying slowly and alone?
It is time for her to go deep within to find out who she truly is and be herself, without explanation or apology for shining brightly and walking purposefully.
Living small or dimly brings dishonor to yourself and the One responsible for creating you; shine Brightly Beautiful Spirits!
©SereneNSassySoul 2015
Posted in Spilled Thoughts

The Light is Out…

It’s not dim, it’s out

Flame is not dim or low it’s out

Snuffed out, stomped out, drenched out… it’s out

Filled with nothingness

Lifeless, useless,

Invisible, insignificant, irrelevant

Indifferent, uninspired

Numbness…

Completely exhausted

Alone, disconnected

Aloof, disheartened

Trapped, suffocating slowly

Pain is gone; so is joy

Nothing and no one matter

Everything is gray; sometimes fuzzy

Clarity, comfort elusive; non-existent

Wariness…

The Light is out…not dimmed…The Light is out!

Consistently inconsistent; highs and lows; passionate then numb; up the down; in then out; clarity then confusion; peace then chaos; driven then stalled; fearless then fearful; excited then nonchalant; bright then dull; painless then full pain; emotional, emotionless; over It, in It; wanting more then not caring; full of life then exhausted; enjoying solitude, loneliness; fullof love then anger…

©SereneNSassySoul 2015

Posted in Spilled Thoughts

Fortress Tumbles Down…

Today I pledge to release the fortress surrounding me because it has not done a great job keeping misery out but it has kept joy from entering and STAYING my life.

Trust, Faith…in every message I’ve received during the past couple of weeks; one of the hardest things for me to do because of life experiences. Today I realized that those experiences are past and although I cannot change them, I can learn not to repeat them. Today I also released any blame previously placed upon those who have hurt me; I forgive them and wish them love and light; it’s time for me to move on once and for all.

I’ve made many decisions based on how I felt and the emotions evoked within due to what I was experiencing. For example…

I left a job where I had the freedom to work in a manner best for me. A job that supported my relocation because I needed peace in my life. A job I knew well but kept learning as I went along because I enjoyed what I was doing; helping others. A job that was meaningful. Why did I leave this behind? While I did not need or want praise or special attention, I did deserve support and loyalty from my team and it just wasn’t there. At some point along the way people I thought were my friends, whose jobs I fought to keep (several times) decided that I was not worth their respect and loyalty and the undermining began.

For a long while I was angry with them, then with myself; I should have been stronger. I should not have allowed anyone to mess up what I had but because I feel everything so deeply, my heart felt betrayed and I could not get over what I felt. Loyalty is huge for me and I just allowed the pain of it all to consume me to the point of physical dis-ease; so I made the decision to walk away…

I struggled for a long while after making the decision to leave; a dark time during my life that I will never repeat but I am wiser and stronger from the entire experience. I did shut out the world during my time of darkness but today I pledge to trusting my intuition, allowing it to protect me from those harboring ill intentions (whether consciously or unconsciously). If I allow the “fortress” to remain around me, I will continue blocking beautiful spirits from entering my life. I’ve asked the Universe to connect me with like-minded, beautiful spirits; it would be hypocritical of me to not do my part.

I’m sharing this to let you know that if you are holding on to any hurt or pain, you must let it go so you can fulfill your soul’s purpose, let it go so you can heal and allow prosperity and abundance to flow infinitely into your life. You deserve joy, peace and love so don’t block this energy from your life by keeping the hurt alive.

As always I’m asking you to share your thoughts/experiences so that you can pay the healing forward.
Love, Peace & Blessings…

SereneNSassySoul

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