Posted in Love Flow

I want to but…I cannot

Letting Love Go.png

I want to…

Thank you for letting me into your world
Getting to know you has been challenging yet somehow exhilarating
I want to be your soul’s partner, here for you always
Never judging, always supporting and loving you unconditionally
I want to explore this world with you; create with you
I want to be the one you finally feel safe with; open up to completely
I want to be your last and somehow your first
You are worth my time, my energy, entwining my path with yours

…but I cannot…

You have not let go of your past hurts, disappointment, abuse
You are still hurting; accusing and suspicious
Nothing I say or do can make your mind, your heart feel at ease
You are stuck, unable to move forward
Your soul’s wounds still exposed and blistering
You see this lifetime hasn’t been easy for me, I can relate to your pain
But for you and me, I can begin again, love again, feel good again
For you I’ve waited what seems like a lifetime; sad to have love squashed by the death grip of pain
I’ve come too far along in my healing journey to ever turn back to what has been
I will always love you, my heart won’t let you go
But I must leave now before I lose any part of myself again

I want to but… I cannot.

 

© 2016 SereneNSassySoul

Posted in Spilled Thoughts

Save Your Loved Ones…OPTIONS

This weekend, someone I care about became so overwhelmed dealing with her pain on her own that she decided her only OPTION was to leave this world. She was a Beautiful Spirit; her energy comforting and inspiring. She apparently was an expert hiding her pain because everyone that knew her said she was “happy” and “full of life”. According to everyone there was no indication that she was experiencing internal chaos to the point of no return.

I had not seen her in a few weeks and the last time I saw her she did seem content. At the time of our last connection, I was experiencing my own internal chaos so perhaps I was not as tuned in as I normally am. My grief now with her passing is that I wish someone, if not me could have shown her another OPTION to managing her pain.

I’m always asking everyone to pay attention to loved ones; listen to them and never dismiss their feelings. How you may deal with an issue is not how someone else may be able to; respect their feelings even if you don’t understand them and NEVER, I mean NEVER tell someone to “just get over it and move on”.

In light of this situation, I am wondering how in-tuned with someone you can be if you are experiencing your own issues at the same time. I can remember thinking of this young women and feeling her internal conflict between the choices she had made; some she was not proud of but doing everything she could to make better choices and move forward. She worried constantly (mostly because of religious teachings) that she may never “be right” with God because of past indiscretions. It was difficult because of the people around her and their teachings, to believe God loved her no matter what, God knew her heart was kind and God understood she was trying to make a better life for herself.

options1I think now of the person who told me that contrary to what I believe, everyone does not need support and encouragement to thrive in this world. I respect her perspective but I firmly believe that everyone thrives with support and encouragement; now even more now than ever. I believe we all need someone to listen, I mean really listen; sometimes advise or offer counsel. We were not created to navigate this world alone. We need to know that we are not the only ones experiencing what conflict there may be. While no one else can validate our feelings, it helps to know that you are not alone and it helps to know there are OPTIONS…even when you feel hopeless, there are OPTIONS. Having support, being encouraged helps you access a place within you to create the OPTIONS that will help you get through any internal chaos you may experience.

Again, I wish someone including myself could have helped my young friend access her OPTIONS to escape the pain she was feeling. The feeling in my heart center is not just about her leaving this world, it’s also about the way she decided to leave…the cold and lonely journey she took to leave. I wish she wasn’t alone, I wish she wasn’t dragged down by darkness, I wish she knew how loved she was…is. Perhaps I should have told her how inspiring she was; how her smile and infectious laugh made the dimmest of days bright. Perhaps I should have reminded her of how encouraging her counsel was because you could always feel it coming from her heart; no judgement present.

helping-hand-emotionalNow more than ever I just feel that even when someone pushes us away, we can’t just let them be! I remember being so depressed years ago and not speaking to anyone except during work hours, my Mom would just keep leaving me messages, “I love you and I am here whenever you are ready to let me be.” At the time my internal chaos was so strong there was nothing anyone could say or do to help me, but those messages gave me an OPTION…to keep waking up each day until I could figure how to help myself. You never know how listening or perhaps lending words of kindness can truly be enough to help give someone light through their darkness.

Let’s make a pact to not be consumed by the fear, tragedy and sadness surrounding us in the world today. Let’s work together to create OPTIONS! Lend someone your words of kindness; inspire someone with your actions. Help someone find the strength they need to keep moving forward even when they feel hopeless. No act of kindness is too small.

A couple years ago, a woman in front of me at the Dunkin Donuts drive thru paid for my order without requiring recognition or thank you from me… During that time, I was struggling financially and I knew it was a blessing; it was my light during the darkness I was experiencing. So without much consideration, I used the money I set aside for my breakfast for the person behind me as a way to pay forward the kindness shown to me.

Do what you can and KNOW that it’s enough. Don’t let someone suffer alone; put your hand out and give them a boost up…help them access their OPTIONS. OPTIONS apply to Men and Women. Do NOT assume because physically Men are stronger (in most cases) that they don’t need someone to help them access their OPTIONS!

I’m sending you all the Love and Light I can without depleting my own at this time.

May your outlook be bright and may you always remember you have OPTIONS.

Love, Peace & Blessings…

Posted in Spilled Thoughts

On this New Day…

I awakened feeling groggy this morning; discomfort in my head, throat and stomach. I just feel pretty blah but I dragged myself to the job anyway just because I feel like I will miss the day’s pay if I didn’t. I realize this is opposite of honoring myself but I’ve made huge changes recently and I can admit to being concerned about lack of finances. If I don’t feel better I will go home; I’ve already promised myself…
So here is the interesting parts of my morning…
First I walked in to a spider web; why, why why do they insist on spinning webs in walkways? It’s always so finely spun that you don’t know you’re walking in to it until you feel it all over your face! (chuckles) I love spiders though, so I fussed a bit them asked them lovingly to please spin out of the walkway next time. Do you think they were listening? (chuckles)
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Secondly, I got into my car and as I look a the windshield, a baby tree frog was sitting there just chillin’. (chuckles) I still can’t figure out how in the world he/she ended up on the windshield; it looks as if he/she was “dropped off”. (chuckles) So I found something in the car to have him jump onto so I could place him in the grass. I did not want to touch him/her because he/she was a baby and I wasn’t sure if I would hurt him/her (my mom calls me Hercules, chuckles). Eventually we worked together and he/she was off and hopping in the grass…
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Here are some significant meanings relating to a Frog Spirit Guide:
Transformation
Cleansing
Healing
Rebirth
Renewal
New Life

Yesterday was filled with emotional turbulence, therefore I’m sharing my encounter with the baby frog today simply to show you just how wonderful the Universe truly is. When you ask for help (or in my case something to inspire me), it will be delivered to you (albeit not always in a way you would like for it to appear).

 As always the Universe knew what I needed on this New Day and so my cleansing and healing process has begun. Further confirmation is the itchiness I’m currently experiencing which has always been a sign of emotional release for me.
So…thank you to my Frog Spirit Guide for visiting me on this New Day when I need you most. Thank you for taking time to visit me outside of your regular business hours (frogs are mostly nocturnal). I am grateful for your guidance and beautiful energy.
To you, my Beautiful Spirits, stay focused on the life you are working to create and do not allow anything to deter you. Sure you will hit a few “bumps” in the road but none of those “bumps” are larger than your will to create the life you know you deserve.
Until next time, wishing you all Love, Peace & Blessings…
SereneNSassySoul
Posted in Spilled Thoughts

Inhale…Exhale…

Pain felt so deeply it make your heart stop briefly, your head pound angrily

Love felt so deeply warming your entire being, briefly taking your breath away

Disappointment you feel when someone you love experiences turmoil and there’s nothing you can do to make it stop; one of the worse things you can ever experience…helplessness

People around have no idea what you are processing inside, most don’t care; it’s not as if they can resolve your worries anyway…

Tears refuse to fall; spirit refuses to accept defeat

Something inside of you is fighting the darkness trying to take over; your will is stronger than anything that comes up against it

You can feel this happening inside of you; there are no words to describe it

The internal war is making you stronger and things that angered or saddened you melt away…

After a while your guides help you understand and know what your spirit, heart knows…you are just fine

You smile at this feeling a sense of inner peace spreading within you calming your entire being

In this moment you realize the one you love will be just fine in time; at their own pace and in their own time

Rain begins to fall, you release the chaos allowing yourself to breathe freely once again; rain is always soothing and cleansing

After a while the Sun joins you in the first new moments of the rest of your life…

You can’t look back even if you wanted to; forward progress is the only way

Inhale, Exhale…Inhale, Exhale…Inhale, Exhale…

©2016 SereneNSassySoul

 

©2016 SereneNSassySoul

Posted in Inspirational Flow, Spilled Thoughts

Saying vs Meaning

Things people say and what they sometimes actually mean, albeit most times unintentionally…

Be strong, be courageous, speak your mind, don’t take crap from anyone…just don’t be this way with me.

Learn to say no and always put your needs first…just don’t be this way with me.

Be all you can be, never stop chasing your dreams…just don’t surpass where I am in my life.

I love and accept you just as you are…just maybe change this or that; just as long as you do things MY way.

Always keep it real no matter what…just as long as what you say or do doesn’t make me uncomfortable.

I’ve always got your back…just as long as someone doesn’t offer me a better deal.

Honor yourself always and pay attention to what you feel…just get over it already and deal with it; life is hard!

Sure you should have others friends that share your interests, I’m not jealous…just as long as when I call for you you come running.

I’m not in competition with you at all, you are my friend…just as long as I don’t see a chance to shine and leave you in the dust!

You are free to do as you please, live your life…just as long as you allow me to control the parts I want to.

There’s no way you can actually make that work…I live my life full of fear, how dare you be brave trying to achieve your goals.

I remember spending so much time seeking approval from various people in my life, yet wondering why it seemed as though I needed to constantly prove myself to have their love. I lost so much of myself at one point, looking in the mirror staring at a stranger. Always trying to please those whose approval I wanted, thought I needed. Always  trying to be the obedient and loyal daughter, employee, girlfriend/wife…

Although I’ve always walked to the beat of my own drum, I craved acceptance from people I loved; at the very least for them to love and accept me same as I felt for them. I realize they all loved me as best as they could. People often don’t realize how their words/actions may adversely affect someone whether intentional or not. Replacing judgement and/or a need to control with mindfulness when connecting with others will go a long way with improving communication within any relationship.

Approval of anyone outside of yourself should never be necessary for your to make your own choices. Honor yourself always by trusting what you feel about a situation/person and make your choice based on this not what someone else may think; no matter who the person is. You are NOT your mother or father, sister or brother… therefore you are not required to make the decisions they would make.

I always hear the term “follow your heart”… it’s usually spoken by people who are successful in their chosen profession, relationships, spiritual, personal self etc. and it used to aggravate me until now…

Now, at this very moment I understand the benefits of following your heart. Your heart is your truest, highest self. It’s the part of you that you’ve pushed away and perhaps buried because of life experienced that were uncomfortable. It’s the part you used to consult before you did anything when you were a child. It’s the part of you that always knows what  and who is best for you. It’s your compass and it’s your guru; the part of you that contains all of the answers you need.

My Dear, the answers you seek, the answers you need are only contained within you, never outside of you. Others can offer tidbits, maybe even a starting point for you but you must go deep within to access the answers that will assist with living the life you were created to live.

Today I don’t rely on what others think or any unsolicited advice they may give unless it resonates with me (which for me means it comes from a higher Source). I don’t wait for approval from anyone before I make a decision about MY life. I don’t allow what people say about me affect who I am. The only person that stands in my way or prevents me from doing anything is me… I am the only challenge I face from time to time; even facing myself is becoming easier each day.

***Cheers to honoring yourself and living the life you know you are meant to live.***

Wishing you all great Love, Peace & Blessings…

SereneNSassySoul

Image result for honoring yourself

Posted in Perspectives
As I drove in this evening, the sky appeared as tumultuous as I’ve felt today; we’re usually in sync…
It was dark, stormy looking, bright in some areas and difficult to read what may have been stirring in the clouds. At one point the Sun, as powerful as it is looked as if it was being overpowered by the clouds. Some of the clouds had sharp edges and some were super thick as if about to burst open releasing an amount of water we could never prepare ourselves for. Many of the clouds resembled mountains, bluish-white in appearance making me think of and miss home…
St Ives lighthouse
After feeling as if I was riding waves most of this New Day, unsure of what I was processing within, I finally felt at peace as I gazed at the sky. In this instance I understood that I am never alone. The sky often mirrors my grief, my joy, my chaos… During periods of grief, chaos it storms and as the rain and vibrations from the thunder and lightning cleanse the Earth, my heart, my spirit are also cleansed making way for a clear sky…joy.
I’m known as the girl who walks in between the raindrops because when it rains I seldom use an umbrella, instead I welcome beautiful, healing energy of the rain.
Before leaving this morning I felt a pull in my heart center but it was not painful, more like making room for new beginning (makes sense since New Moon cycle has just completed); I wasn’t worried. At some point this afternoon the pulled became uncomfortable and I knew it wasn’t about new beginning, instead I allowed something meaningless to trouble me. It wasn’t until I met with the Sky that I was able to understand, work through it and release the uncomfortable feeling in my heart center. No storm but the rain came just as I began to release the negative energy.
New beginning is NOT synonymous for “easy process” and often something within you mourns the “old” whether good, bad or indifferent. It’s up to you to be mindful of this and keep moving forward as you embrace your new beginning. I don’t know what lies ahead (our Universe still refuses to provide a map to navigate life LoL) but I refuse to just tread water and stay where I am, I refuse to deny myself opportunities to experience and grow, I refuse to settle for a lesser life and best of all… I refuse to give up on ME!
Keep moving forward Beautiful Spirits!
Sending you Love, Peace & Blessings
SereneNSassySoul