A Perfectionist is Birthed By Trauma
Some of us are proud to be called a Perfectionist; we try to get it all right the first time around. We are meticulous, focused and diligent with every detail of the task at hand. We are also our toughest critics and find it hard to accept even the most insignificant mis-step. It’s an exhausting existence and it drains way to much of our energy that should instead be used to do the things that make our Hearts sing.
Truth is, a Perfectionist is birthed by Trauma. A Perfectionist has a real need to get every detail just right to bypass judgement and criticism others can often be too willing to lay upon us. Let’s face it, people can be hot one minute, cold the next; sweet then nasty and for people who have not resolved their personal trauma, the rollercoaster ride of others can be triggering and even debilitating at times.
We do everything we can to make sure everything is perfect to deter scrutiny, to avoid someone possibly being unhappy with us. Being a Perfectionist is not an egotistical thing, it’s the result of someone trying to avoid repeating previously experienced trauma.
Erica shared this with me during our consultation: “When I didn’t do something my partner wanted me to, she would lash out often bringing up old issues and to “punish” me, she would withhold affection, love, support etc. It made me feel dejected, confused and deeply wounded so I would do what she expected or asked me to do to avoid feeling unwanted, unloved.”
My session with Erica ended with two pieces of wisdom:
Always do your best, trust and believe you’ve done your best even if it includes one or two minor mistakes.
The only person you should be worried about disappointing is yourself! Honor and protect yourself always and if that means someone else is disappointed, then let them deal with that.
So you see Beautiful Souls, being a Perfectionist is not something to celebrate, it’s a sign that healing is needed for you to be balanced, healthy and whole.
Here’s to you being imperfectly, perfect being just who you were born to be and allowing this to be enough for you and anyone else.
As always, sending you Courage, Love and Peace.
